Thank you. I tell them if they can, and want to, by all means breastfeed. But…to remember the 2 main purposes of feeding your child. First, obviously, is to nourish the child.
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Second, is to bond with the child. Both of these objectives can be met with bottle feeding, as well as breastfeeding feeding. I was not physically able to breastfeed I tried with the first, but at 6 weeks of age he had not regained his birth weight. He cried all the time. Thank goodness I had enough milk that he lived.
Message In A Bottle
He was a much more content child after I started bottle feeding. Today he is nearly 35 and extremely intelligent! His brother is almost 34, and he, too, turned out just fine! Thank you for sharing this story. When my older 2 children were born I was encouraged to breastfeed and so I did. When my son was born in 08 he had complications latching so we struggled with that and the nurses have him formula. Fast forward to Aug 31, when my youngest was born. I wanted so bad to breastfeed. My son was having trouble latching due to upper lip and tongue ties which they wouldnt fix.
He cried all the time and stayed on the breast. When the nurses checked him they said he was fine. He had dirty diapers but no wet diapers. We were discharged the very next day with still no wet diaper. By friday, my LO was crying non-stop to no prevail of the breast and only 1 wet diaper. I took him to urgent care pediatrics and voiced my concern.
His bilirubin levels were high, he had only wet yet 2 diapers since Wednesday, and he was still crying non-stop. The Dr said he was dehydrated and to give him supplements until I could pump and get my milk to come in. So I was ordered to pump every hour and in between pumping to put my son on one breast while pumping so my body could use his saliva to help with production.
Fed is Best in any situation as long as your baby is receiving the nutrients it needs to grow. I thank you for sharing, and hope that in some way, you find peace knowing you are helping others. You are a great mom…Continue to love. All of the time.
I understand some places are more strict than others. I used the SMS system to deliver formula to the baby. Hope off your soap box and give some sympathy. But I feel that is because: a they have read all the research bumf! When breast is best first came in, I spoke out against it at a number of conferences my manager joked about midwives throwing tomatoes at me because of it.
But as a NICU nurse I felt strongly for the mothers particularly with premature babies who felt the guilt for their child being born to soon. Despite what midwives and research say, breast feeding does NOT come naturally to everyone and as research has shown it is also not necessarily the best and only way forward. Well done for catching that, nurse.
I am so glad you were able to work on your own initiative, and deal with the seriousness of the situation. God Bless you. This could happen to any first time mum. Similar advice was given to me when my baby was crying nonstop. Good on you for sharing, people are not born with the knowledge, we have to trust the people doing this everyday but with your story in the back of their mind, people will question the experts more readily.
How tragic that agendas and arrogance got in the way of advocating for the most vulnerable party in the equation, the newborn child. And you are making a real difference. When I become a mother I will not hesitate to give formula to my baby if his health is otherwise in danger. I am so very sorry to hear of this outcome. Nothing with the tragic outcome this case had. I did, and ultimately I had to have another c-section. Instead of it being a routine if not happy occasion, I had panic attacks during the procedure, and pnd for failing my child and my body. Then breastfeeding, I was told with my failed vbac child I had sufficient milk, even though it was incredibly minimal.
BF was long, distressing, and my child was losing weight, but apparently latch was ok and milk was ok — neither seemed ok to me, nor did my child, she was losing weight for no reason well over and above expected loss in the first few days, and they kept us in 10 days checking for maternal competence as a reason for my child doing so poorly, and doing tests to see if there was some illness making her so poorly only to release us with her still not stablised with a referral to a lactation consultant.
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They did NOT tell me this removes the tissue that produces the fats a baby uses for fuel. My breasts had grown back bigger in them years but you can not replace the specific fat producing tissues taken during a reduction. It was in part the staffs fault inc a paediatrician, maternity nurses and the lactation consultant and in part my own obsessive brainwashed belief in the natural anti intervention crap. She has developmental delays and I will never know what role that first 2 months played.
These days when I hear a woman saying she wants a home birth, or anything else that is from that philosophy, my heart races. I wanted a home birth with my first child and couldnt because a severe bleed from a poorly placed placenta made us high risk.
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Had I tried a home birth, my first child and probably myself, would have died. I get it, we all want whats best for our babies. Research based on the death rates of mothers and babies during labour and death or poor outcomes for babies in the first month after birth, and how those rates have changed over the last years, since 1 Hospitals, 2 milk substitutes. Same goes for immunisations. Ignore the naysayers. Send them some tin foil for their heads. Use modern medicine. And even as for maternity wards in hospitals… I have 3 children now. In terms of bottle sanitation, in you essentially had to steep the bottles in bleach milton to be doing the right thing, in the staff were absolute, you had to steam clean them… and in the exact opposite was true, do not bleach or steam clean the bottles, was with tap waters only.
They are equally as susceptible to trends. Goodness knows what their advice is now. Its very hard for new mums to figure out right from wrong. But I can say the anti vbac pro breast movement went too far for sure. I was unable to breastfeed due to many medical complications and medicine and I desperately wanted to breastfeed and to this day I am so angry with the problems I had and wish I had been able to breastfeed my son.
But reading your story helped me realize that I might have had a similar issue and my son would not be here had I been able to breastfeed because the women in my family have had benign cysts in glands. It never occurred to me that I would or could have a problem with that until now. The nurses should have helped you more and been willing to try other options and find or help you find solutions.
God bless you. My prayers are with you. This story touched me deeply. I admire you so much for going through such an incredibly heart-wrenching time in your life and having the courage to share it with the world and make a positive impact. Without knowing you personally, I am so unbelievably proud of you for having the courage to let other moms or future moms know about the dangers and complications associated with breastfeeding insufficiency.
I hope that you can live your life in peace because you deserve to, and thank you so much for sharing this. I wish you and your family all the best in your journey. Did he pass at 10 months old?? I believe none of this was your fault!
Nicholas Sparks Message in a Bottle
Doctor and nurse negligence. I am an OB nurse but have worked in the NICU for 2 years and as a mother of a child who was failure to thrive because of poor milk transfer, I am so sorry for your loss. Most hospitals are aware and provide education on formula feeding. Majority of mothers that do have breastmilk but not a sufficient amount supplement with formula.
It is very disappointing to hear hospitals deny a baby supplemention and miss the signs of starvation.